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Funny and Disgusting Poems about science, Life Cycles, and Snot and Bogies related to the National Curriculum KS1 & KS2

Established 1988

 

 

The Frog

A suitably disgusting poem about food chains and life cycles with lots of new words for children, along with some interesting discussion points about what is and what is not a true rhyme

The frog eschews both cakes and pies

To satiate itself with flies

It catches them the whole day long

Unleashing fast its sticky tongue

What more from life could creatures wish

Imbibing such a tasty dish?

 

But one day frog gets old and dies

Good news for surviving flies

Who lay their eggs upon its body

That soon are maggots, who, quite oddly

Consider frog comestible

Delightfully digestible

And begin voraciously to feast

Upon the corpse of the deceased.

 

And though this sounds a tad suspicious

Rotting frog is quite delicious

To hungry maggots on a mission

Who masticate without contrition,

Devoid of fear of malnutrition

And eschewing squeamish inhibition

Concerning frogs decomposition

Pursue the single sole ambition:

 

To eat then metamorphosise

Into a swarm of hungry flies

 

But flies like frogs don’t last forever

And nature is extremely clever

So before the sky becomes congested

Flies become themselves ingested

By the species of amphibian

That recently had nourished them

 

And so the cycle is unbroken

Oblivious the frog sits croakin.

 

And here is a poem about properties of materials relating to science curriculum KS 1&2 that should appeal to children of a certain age

 

Have you ever wondered…?

 Why toffee is hard

And marshmallows are soft

And biscuits are brittle

And bread is not

And if you eat sweets

And you don’t need a lot

You must clean your teeth

Or they’ll turn black and rot

Why chewing gum stretches

And custard does not

And cream can be runny

But it also can clot

That bricks last forever,

But tomatoes soon rot,

Why this ball is bouncy

And this one is not

And feet can get cheesy

If you don’t wash them a lot

Why ice cream goes runny

When the weather is hot

That bananas are sticky

And apples are not

And have you considered

A lump of green snot

And what are the properties

That good snot has got

Cause its kind of stretchy

And kind of not

It’s incredibly sticky

I like that a lot

It doesn’t get runny

When the weather is hot

But in the cold winter

 It runs quite a lot

Sometimes I wonder

I wonder just what

What is the reason

For a nose full of snot

It makes breathing snuffly

And one thing we must not

We must not never eat

That interesting snot

It’s sticky and stretchy

And we like it a lot

But nutritious and tasty

Is something snot’s not

But there’s other things too

Other things beside snot

The properties of which

Fascinate me a lot

So lets look at the properties

That other stuff’s got.

 

© Mike Rawlinson 2005

Mike Rawlinson is a performer, writer and Alexander Technique Teacher

 

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